Malam ni agak sunyi. Not really in the mood though, kinda "rasa tak best". Yea, again. Maybe because of incident lunch td? oh crap lah. Why should i drag it for too long. but then again, i couldn't help myself, can't control myself. Ammar said, "nmpk sgt kot awk jeles ngan budak tu". huhu, demm. my bad, aihh. After lunch, i went back home and online. Oh he's on9, but he's status was busy. and she's on9, and the status was busy too. ah kebetulan je tu, sedapkan hati. But the feeling "rasa tak best" was still there. End up, i went sleep around 1pm, konon-kononnye to reset my mind off from the "rasa tak best" before. Bangun-bangun, it's already 3 something and i wasn't prepare for the badminton game at 4pm yet. Zuhur tak solat lg, muka tak basuh lg, shuttlecock and skipping rope pn tk masuk dlm beg lg, terus ke depan and check ym. Hampa, tk dek sebarang msg. "aih, tkpela, maybe he's busy". Again, utk sedapkan hati.
It was already 3.45 and i still in front of my pc. Checked my hp and tgk2 Ammar miscalled me 3 times. uhu, i'm late againn. Changed cloth and sheeshh, i forgot where did i put my shuttlecock. No choice, i went to kedai runcit NZ to buy 2 shuttlecocks yg mahal tp tak berapa kualiti. Arrived at Cyberjaya Komuniti Center half and hour late. Nasib Ammar tk perli. hehe. Kinda long time tak pegang raket. I think about 7-8 months. we played 1 set, he won la of course with 19-20 for 1st set, 21-25 for 2nd set. And oh terima kasih Ammar for leaving the love bite at my nose. Don't know if he was purposely to target or accidently, the shuttlecock kissed my nose dgn begitu pantas. Nak elak pn tk sempat. haha. But the game was fun, and apparently cure the "rasa tak best" for awhile.
Hmm, i'm trying to have my focus back. Lotsa thing to be settle down now, my midterm, kerja, dan kerja. But sometimes, i wonder with myself, am i just scared to move thing first? But if i move thing first, am i a loser? Or, am i still shadowed by the past and scared if it'll happen once again? Aih, those questions selalu comes out like so sudden. I might pretending i'm doing fine and cool, but God knows how i feel, what i need. I was like holding a piece of hope, but i can't given up on life. I learn one thing, i can't always get what i wanted and be the way i wanted. Yea, i have to be grateful for what i have now. ahh, thanks God, "rasa tak best" tu dh hilang. For now, i think the best listener is my innerself. Yea, it's like talking to yourself, inside you. Whenever i feel down, "she" gv me the courage to take it positively.
Oh it's already 11.31pm, i should stop writing now and have a sleep. Tmrw is a new day, and i pray that tmrw will be better than today.
love.
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