Happy Birthday, Azraai !

Happy Birthday to you !

May all your wishes come true ~ (amin)
god bless !






cheers. :)

Fantastic Redang.

Memorable trip. 7 days trip, with 63 students. There, we stayed at Pulau Pinang, the small island beside Redang which also known as marine park. The scenery was great, can't miss the crystal blue water, the easy breezy breeze, fun ppl, enjoy every moments. I just miss the whole thing ! We did a lot of activities like cleaning, meeting village ppl, snorkelling, taking pictures (is a must!), charity works and lots more.

the crowd during day time.

they love photography too !

newly born cute little turtle.

On day 4 and 5, we spent the whole day at main island, Redang. Really enjoyed the breathtaking view, the island hopping and also some fun games with small kids at school.

at Redang .

Leisure .

Musical Chair with fun kids.

Musical Chair with, err, org dewasa. hehe.

We're at 2nd place ! yeay.

Can't have it enough, i just can't believe that we're already hit the last day of the trip. Every moment is a treasure, precious and memorable. and especially on the 2nd nite, i manage to see a shooting star ! it's like a dream. i had a wish. :) Wish i could stay there more longer. oh and also thanks guys for the surprise on my birthday ! Really appreciate it. Never in my life, received a birthday wish from 50 ppls at the same time. thanks again ! :) Redang gv me 1001 memories that i'll never forget.

on my birthday !

My birthday present ! hehe.

Persatuan ~

gonna miss u guys !

Till then, love.

Summary of May .

Hooray ! my finals just end last thursday and i'm free frm stdy-stress for this time being (at least for a month! haha). So many thngs happen in this month. ups and downs, love and break-up, laughter and tears. .

The most exciting activity this month was the trip to Perhentian. It was my 3rd time going there, and i think this is the best. I went there with Bee and k.Ina. Well-planned, is the most important factor. Lucky for us, we went there early of the month and it wasn't that pack yet as end of the month. We stay at Abdul Chalet and i was surprise with the rate, quite cheap (RM70 for triple sharing). We went there for 4D/3N, with free and easy activity. I feel so refreshed, with the beautiful scenery, and calm breeze. Damn, i just miss that moments now! The food there wasn't that expensive (range, rm4-rm15 for food), and the best thing is, we had our meal while enjoying the view of sunset and star everyday! Snorkelling is a must! get tanned or so called tam is a pleasurable. hehe. And the most important thing is, we had so much fun there.

4 days later, i had my final exm. haha. crazy? i am. i went Perhentian 4 days before my finals. But then, it works, it's refreshed my mind and for me to get back on track. i had so many miserable moments before and Perhentian helps me a lot. :)

Love and Break-up? well, it wasn't really a break-up cause we don't really have a real relationship. i do loved him, but i guess we don't belong together. So there's no way to work things out. Maybe he said, we ain't really have a thing. but for me, it was a special thing, even it's a small thng. We argue a lot, this and that, but then, i try to take it in positive way. Eventhough it's hurt. But believe me, the waiting period isn't that hurt, as the moment he said "go and find another man, i'm just a jerk." it's like a torn in my heart. i know it's just a reason. Well, u should tell me that earlier, before i fallen deep into u. Maybe i was wrong, to take ur words seriously. I didn't bare in mind that nothing last forever.

So many unexpected thing happen for reason. And all i can say it's for us, to have a lesson learned. Life is a long path, and i should be glad that my family and friends are still there for me when i'm fall and guide me through the journey. thanks. I won't frown but smile. I will try to get myself into the steady state back. :)

And now, i just can't wait for the trip to Redang end of this month! to get tam, again! oh ya, what is tam actually? tam is hitam ! hehehe. i enjoy myself with travelling and photographing thingy. it's just me. wanna be a beach girl? come n join me. hehe.



Till then, love. :)

love is like a 5 bucks for you.

you don't care about it when you hv everythng around.

you don't even notice it's existance.

you ignore it because you know you still hv ten 50 bucks in your purse.

but when you're broke, you knw how big 5 bucks is.

without it, you can't even eat.

and only u struggle to find it.

and only u appreciate how big the value is.

but at that time, maybe nothing left for you.

love doesn't come easily.

it need struggle to get it, the patience to hold it.

appreciate while it still there.

don't waste a chance, because you don't even know if you have the second time.

so before it's too late, please. don't let it fade and gone like how you use your 5 bucks.

because my love ain't same with your 5 bucks .

jauh .

tmrw is my first paper of my FINAL EXM !
and .. i feel so exhausted and stress.

i wish i could fly high to the sky.
and .. live peacefully in the paradise.

now i'm torn and breathless.
and .. i hope u're gone and forget the past.

i don't know if this is right for me to continue.
because .. right now, i just can't feel you like i used to.

can't deny u still on my mind and still dream about u.
but .. i know, u just gone and 'jauh' ..

:(

i need my pokka !

My Butterfly .

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly, I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand, to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise


I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You've given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me
When you're ready to land


I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly


Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
My Butterfly ..



Butterfly - Mariah Carey

matahari ku !

Horoscope for April 24, 2008.

Do you want to take things to a deeper level in your life? Instead of having a job, do you want to have a career? Instead of having a romantic relationship, do you want to be married? Instead of renting a home, do you want to buy one? These goals are good, they are healthy, and best of all -- they are attainable. You need to understand that. To reach them, take baby steps. You can't get to where you want to go all at once. Understand that things take time, and you will get there.

sure i do! :)

I feel a lot better now. Thanks so much for those being there for me when i need a shoulder to cry on. Thanks to mama and klang for their support. Right now, i feel so glad to know who's really being my friend and care for me. I 'm looking for someone who can share, someone who can take care of me, someone love me for who i am, from inside. I don't ask too much because that is all i wanted. Dream isn't just dream, and i wanna make it real. yeah, for u guys, mama and ayah and myself. i promise. :)

love ya!

will he ever know . .

Song that stuck in my head right now,

Tell Him - Celine Dion ft. Barbara Streisand


I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do

......


taken from Let's Talk About Love (1997)

tell him .

Reminiscing.

Ystrday incident still running on my mind.. but it's all happenned. i can't turn back and pretend everything is fine. the harder i try, the deeper i sink. i am.. i was pretend everything is fine in front. i thought i was patient enough to wait, with hope he will be with me someday.. i lied, i cried, and i blame myself for what had happen between us. he convinced me, he pleased me, he made me believed that someday, we will make it worth, we will have all the time in the world. honestly DD, i don't mind to wait. but look at u.. have u even wake up from sleep? u knw y i was upset with u? i upset because i care, because i love.. u've been hurt before, u told me u had enough of her. i was pleased to hear that he have made his final decision of letting her go.. i was happy for the fact, he won't be hurt anymore by the same person over and over again. i just wanna see him happy. eventhough he's not mine, but he's important to me, he's someone to me.

Ystrday may be the peak of all. it's hurt, really.. yea maybe i just can't understand him.. i've tried, i do.. but i failed.. and i gv up.. like i said, the harder i try, the deeper i sink. it's not about envy, it's not about jealousy of those girls that u told me.. but did't they made u feel bad and hurt before? u told me u were trying to get rid of them, did u? but now, u tell me that u were confused, u are between of two. i was.. only god knows how i feel.. i just break down, i can't even think well ystrday. i was disappointed but i really don't mean to hurt u. i know u were hurt. i'm so sorry.. i was, i just can't keep it inside anymore.. sometimes we need to be certain with our heart.. we can clear up all the doubts and confusion if we really want it. after all, it's all keep coming back to us. no one's is perfect, but at least we need to be certain of how we want it to be.

I hope u will be fine and happy in everythng u do.. i'll be proud to hear ur music, to see u on show. i believe in ur talent and ur music and i knw u can go further. u taught me to be strong and believe in myself.. thanks.. i'll never forget you..


say hi to teddy, i'll be missing you.

he's now doing his solo and group album. i wish him all the best. i had a great moment with him. cheers.

aw Pokka again?

oh yea, i need my Pokka lagi dan lagi..

i can feel the tensed and the heaatt of the final exm right now.. though org kate it's still early, i need to prepare for it earlier.. 12th May is my final! agak takut, but actly sgt takut. i need to increase my pointer back. adoi~ hm, tekad. that's it, i have to tekad. i need to do something with myself. fix myself. forget everything else. yea. i have to. gotta defreg and clean up my mind storage from all the spam and excess data to improve my performance. aha spam? yea, there's a lot of spam inside here.. spam yg sgt tak diperlukan, hanya memberatkan otak saya. oh i need some anti-virus too, to eliminate the virus that nearly kill and effect my overall inner system. what else? bnyk lagi yg kene tukar utk improve system computer otak saye. :)


i wish a balanced life, love and laugh. no one wish to be sadder. the happiest moment in one's life is to love and being loved by someone else. give us the courage to move on, to live this life no matter how hard it is. who's perfect? expect me to be one? forever i won't be, cause nobody does. everyone made mistakes, so do i. and so do you. but mistakes will always be a mistake if you do not try to improve it, if you don't try to change it for good. it's hard, i know. but it's for ourself, for our own happiness. i believe that life's perfect when happiness is there, no matter what you do. believe in ourself.

emotions running high .

been bz dis few weeks with midterms and assgmnts. uhh! stress. 1 assgmnt submisssion dis wed, 1 report submission and lab tmrw. : wish i could have a getaway, going somewhere and rest. i just miss the smell of ocean, the breeze, the sands and sunset.
i'm listening to, is it you by cassie. bosan plk mlm ni.. i should be doing my report by now, tp ntah.. i can't concentrate. too much on my mind. something stupid. yea i know.. but that something stupid made u crazy and unwell. ah abaikan. i wanna be someone. somewhere, and some time, i will make it real. i believe in chances. so i won't gv up.

"whatever the mind can dream, conceive, and believe, you will definitely achieve."


yes, i will. :)

was it all that easy ?

>> 28/3, 9.30pm .

To Love Again.

See i was the verge of breaking down,
I was shadowed with the things i cannot do,
Sometimes i'm hopeless,
I'm just break down and cry..
Started to lose my faith,
Didn't know where i should turn to..

Is it wrong for me to be true?
As i can see the things others don't see in you.
So baby don't hate me and push me aside,
Cos i can't take it for too long.

* i guess this is the way of living,
love keep come and go,
without you even know,
i gotta stand up again and smile,
knowing that there's no dark will last forever,
i realize there's still tomorrow,
sun will finally shine,
and i will love again.

What i feel now is just pain inside,
All alone without you beside
I wish u didn't go but i can't hold u down,
It's not right.
I have to leave you behind,
Left behind without no one else to blame.

Tell me was it all easy to just put aside your feeling?
Close your eyes for something you don't wanna see,
But how could you close your heart for something you don't wanna feel..
That's love, and it's hurt ..

Zawani Zakaria

Are you awake?

Awake .



i watched this movie last weekend and it was awesome! i should say this is the best movie i've seen. the story line is smooth and completely far from boring. the ending is really unexpected. for me, this movie really worth to watch despite make us think about every risk of life and love, the trust u put on someone, and of our mother's everlasting care and love. u will feel the emotion from the beginning of this movie. Jessica Alba as Sam was so sweet, and a caring girlfriend who take care of her boyfriend so well. but at the same time, she was the real evil in this story, and ruin all the hope and dreams of a lovely guy. Why? find out urself. hehe.

Ying and Yang .

>> 17/3, 6.30 pm,

i wrote this rhymes when i was so in love with someone. we started as friend, we get closer n closer day by day.. but maybe there's no luck between us. but no matter what happen, i cherish every moment when i was with him. :)

Ying and Yang

You're my everything,
Don't know why it feels so right
to love you, to touch you,
Every moment it was you in my mind,
It's so strange..
But i believe it's the love that you bring.

I hope it's for lifetime,
Eventhough in time
we suffer the storm and wind,
I will still believe,
Because you're my Ying and Yang.

Fill my emptiness inside baby,
You bring the joy and happiness,
You complete me, protect me,
It's so strange,
but i wanna believe,
It's the energy that you bring.

Don't hurt this feeling please,
Don't push this love and leaving,
i believed everything u said,
and i give you the best i had..

Zawani Zakaria

the hope .

and this is my wish for you ;

Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.